There has been hundreds of scenario in your head about how you picture the day you will fall in love. i know. i know how you daydream about them during class lectures when you are seemingly listening to the obvious facts about the world. Tell me something i do not know. So you imagine the moment to be the day, finally, you will be knocked off of your feet, he is charming and he will melt your heart with his smile, and the eyes, ofcourse the eyes. deep and calculating and warm that you’ll fall for them the moment you see it so that everything else will look blurry. But what you really want to know is how it feels like. you’ve read loads of analogies, watch romance films, you stayed awake all night clutching your heart, wondering how it feels like to be in deep. You wrote another entry to you diary, reach for the bedside lamp and switch your whole world black.
Let me tell you something about falling in love. Not that I have a degree major in successful relationships, because i barely made it after the two moth period of dating. No, i’m not a genius at this kind of stuffs, it isn’t something i am good at. actually, i’ve been in that same position that you are in now, and all i can say is, your expectations will only break your heart. Love feels like flying for a little while, and then falling afterwards. When you fall for somebody, you don’t expect it, you don’t meet him once and know instantly that you’ll fall for this guy. You suffer this short period of battling with your emotions whether you like him or not. First you’ll be in denial, pretending like it’s nothing, you might even try to push him away, and then when he is well far away from you as you intended, you’ll soon realize what an ass you have become. you will reel him back in, but he was already let down. it could be too late or you could still prove yourself, but i tell you this so you won’t make the same mistake. be brave. brave enough to admit to yourself how you feel because love is unpredictable and it will hit you at times when you leas expect it to, love is fucking sadistic, “oh you want him? fine i’ll give this guys instead.” so be brave and be brave and for the last time be brave. don’t let the idea of him and you and how it would change the world affect what your heart tells you. don’t let it be too late, til you finally realize, you had let something you wish for so long pass right before your eyes and all you did is watch it go.